I recently purchased a weekly deal for one session of Endermologie at a local day spa. I had no idea what I was in for since I didn’t bother doing any research before my appointment. I did, however, have visions of someone rubbing out the dimples on the back of my legs with strong hands and warm oils. Not so much.
Endermologie is a non-invasive cellulite reduction method which involves a sequence of sessions with a hand held device that I will loosely compare to a Dirt Devil vacuum.
At my appointment, the owner of the tiny, hole-in-the-wall spa greeted me with a smile as I followed her into therapy room. Lying on the padded table in the middle of the room was a crumpled skin colored body stocking and what looked like disposable g-string panties. She instructed me to strip down and squeeze myself into the stocking; (I opted to don my own underwear).
When the procedure began, I made the mistake of telling this woman that I am a tough cookie and to not be gentle. This is what I usually tell any masseuse before they start to give me any sort of rub down. Immediately it was clear that I was not in my right mind when I requested a higher setting on this crazy machine.
The sucking and pinching sensation was interesting and slightly painful. I gritted my teeth as the device repeatedly gnawed on and spit out my flesh. It certainly felt like something was happening; what, I had no idea.
After all of my lumpy bits were thoroughly “massaged”, I was instructed to drink plenty of water and even to do a little cardio. That sounded like a lot of work to me, but I agreed.
I didn’t and haven’t seen anything exciting happen since my Endermologie appointment, sigh. I was secretly hoping for a miracle.
It is recommended that you go through 14 sessions for optimum results. Oh, and then there’s maintenance. The cost can turn out to be comparable to getting actual liposuction.
I am going to the gym.